October 22, 2007

having a hundred sheep and losing one of them

And on that note, brunch is on you.

This is the end of We, Like Sheep.

(Before I forget, this weekend a waitress said to the people at my table, “Feel free to malinger as long as you want.”)

I want to show my appreciation for my “blogdaddy” Vasco, continual inspiration from the brilliant Mimi Smartypants, very kind technical assistance from Aaron, design help from Tony, and all of the support from אסף חמוד.

I am grateful for all of the amazing persons I have met through “blogging”, up to and including my estranged son Young Faruq.

I want to thank everyone who has been reading, and especially all of you who have been faithful commenters. (My apologies to the commenter on whom I pulled a modified Rocco. It was hard not to resist knowing that the end was near. Those were passages from “The Cloud of Unknowing” and “Revelations of Divine Love”.)

Most of all, I want to thank the DP, without whom this here website thingy would not have been possible.

Count the stars in the sky. Measure the waters of the oceans with a teaspoon. Number the grains of sand on the sea shore. Impossible, you say?

Posted by eric at 12:13 PM

October 18, 2007

Impossible, you say?

In Status Anxiety by Alain de Botton (“my age”!), he argues that religion can help alleviate our worries about our relative place in the world. Religion addresses the big questions of life and death and therefore can take us out of our mundane concerns about our place in the social hierarchy.

The idea of death brings an authenticity to social life: there may be no better way to clear our calendar of engagements than to speculate as to who among our acquaintances would make the trip to our hospital bed.

I think about this a lot. Or, who among my acquaintances would still be interested in talking to me if I acquired a disfiguring or grotesque illness. (This happens. This is something that happens.)

Herodotus reported that it was the custom, towards the end of Egyptian feasts, when the revellers were at their most exuberant, for servants to march through the banqueting hall and among the tables carrying skeletons on stretchers.

I know it is very presumptuous of me to assume that other people haven’t seen their share of death and sorrow. But often, especially in New York, especially among the young and successful and arrogant, it is hard not to think that these persons think that they will live forever.

Elsewhere in his Histories, Herodotus tells us an apposite anecdote about Xerxes, the mighty king of Persia, who in 480 B.C. invaded Greece with an army of nearly two million men. Seeing the whole Hellespont filled with the vessels of his fleet, and the plains covered with his regiments, Xerxes at first congratulated himself on his good fortune and abilities, but then, a few moments later, he began to weep. His stunned uncle Artabanus, standing beside him, asked what a man in his position could possibly have to cry about. The king replied that he had just realised that in a hundred years' time, all those men arrayed before him, every one of the solders and sailors with whose help he had terrified the known world, would be dead.

Chances are that the most famous and most successful people of today will just be footnotes in history. I am reminded of that line in “Love! Valour! Compassion!”: I long for the day when somebody says, "Who's Madonna?"

There are natural phenomena so enormous as to make the variations between any two people seem mockingly tiny. By seeking these out, and experiencing a consoling sense of the insignificance of all humans within the cosmos, we may mitigate whatever discomfort we feel over our inferior position in the social hierarchy.

I think I heard somewhere that there are more bacteria in one inch of our intestines than there are people who have ever lived. Think of how that compares to the size of the cosmos! Count the stars in the sky. Measure the waters of the oceans with a teaspoon. Number the grains of sand on the sea shore. Impossible, you say?”

De Botton – who is from a Sephardic Jewish family – singles out Christianity for its emphasis on elevating the position of the poor, meek, and downtrodden. The standard in Christianity is the treatment of the “least of these”, not the greatest and most powerful.

Christianity bids us to look beyond our superficial differences in order to focus on what it considers to be a set of universal truths, on which a sense of community and kinship may be built. Whether we are cruel or impatient, dim or dull, we must recognize that we are all of us detained and bound together by shared vulnerabilities. Beneath our flaws, there are always two driving forces: fear and the desire for love.

I am reminded of the Song of Mary:

My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord, my spirit rejoices in God my Saviour;
he has looked with favour on his lowly servant.
From this day all generations will call me blessed; the Almighty has done great things for me and holy is his name.
He has mercy on those who fear him, from generation to generation.
He has shown strength with his arm and has scattered the proud in their conceit,
Casting down the mighty from their thrones and lifting up the lowly.
He has filled the hungry with good things and sent the rich away empty.
He has come to the aid of his servant Israel, to remember his promise of mercy,
The promise made to our ancestors, to Abraham and his children for ever.

De Boton states:

In the City of God (A.D. 427), Saint Augustine explained that all human actions could be interpreted from either a Christian or a Roman perspective, and that the very accomplishments that were esteemed most highly by the Romans -- amassing money, building villas, winning wars and so on -- counted for nothing in the Christian schema, in which a new set of concerns, including loving one's neighbours, being humble and generous and recognising one's dependence on God, offered the keys to elevated status.

This had the effect of changing the landscape of Europe, as art and architecture changed to reflect the values of Christianity.

For hundreds of years, the talents of the finest stonemasons, poets, musicians and painters -- whose predecessors had been called upon to celebrate the triumphs of emperors and the blood-curdling victories of legions over barbarian hordes -- were directed to praising such activities as giving alms and showing respect for the poor. The glorification of worldly values never entirely disappeared in the Christian era -- there remained plenty of palaces to alert the word to the charms of mercantile or landed wealth and power -- but for a time, in many communities, the most impressive buildings on the horizon were those that honoured the nobility of poverty rather than the might of a royal family or corporation, and the most moving pieces of music sang not of personal fulfilment but of the torment of the Son of God, who had been, in the words of Isaiah 53:3, quoted in Handel's Messiah (1741),

despised and rejected of men;
a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief

Ten years ago I began the rudimentary Inquirers Classes at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco, in preparation for baptism and confirmation. I had been raised a Unitarian, which I think of as National Public Radio in religion form. In the United States, the Unitarian Universalist Association generally promotes an intellectual yet sensitive approach to spirituality, trying to learn from different religious traditions while not endorsing any specific beliefs, other than loving one another, etc. But I didn’t find this satisfying. I wanted there to be some there there. At my father's church, the only thing the congregation could come to an agreement on, theologically, was the spiritual power of flowing water.

I had done some research and decided on the Episcopal Church. Roman Catholicism seemed both too dramatic and too shabby, and I didn’t like the ethnic baggage that came along with it, as well as the implicit endorsement of anything emanating from the Bishop of Rome. Quakerism seemed too awkward. Methodism and Presbyterianism were much too boring. Lutheranism seemed too bleak. The Episcopal Church in the United States preserved a lot of fancy ritual and faggish pageantry and required no earnest demonstration of actual religious conviction. It had a core set of beliefs, yet they were still approached with some intellectual distance and frigidity. And I liked the connection to the international Anglican Communion (little did I know what storms and schism were ahead). So I was baptised a Christian and a week later confirmed as a full member of the Episcopal Church.

Strengthen, O Lord, your servant Eric with your Holy Spirit; empower him for your service; and sustain him all the days of his life. Amen.

Of course, this all seems quite stupid. Yet I am so glad I went through with it.

But how can any thinking person just sign up for a whole set of crazy beliefs, accumulated over centuries of varying levels of ignorance?

A few weeks ago on Yom Kippur, I attended a Kol Nidre service. Since my knowledge of liturgical Hebrew is pretty much limited to נ נח נחמ נחמן מאומן , I admit that my mind wandered a bit over the course of the three hours, and I started leafing through the Reconstructionist prayer book. In a footnote, I read something like: you cannot practice ‘religion’ any more than you can speak ‘language’ – spirituality must be rooted in some tradition or narrative.

I’m not really worried about all of that garbage in the Nicene Creed being disproved, since, hasn’t most of it been disproved already? And how, exactly, do I understand the idea of the divinity of Christ?

That is an excellent question!

People like to criticize the cafeteria approach to religion, where one just picks and chooses those aspects that one feels comfortable with (in a way, I was one of those critics in how I rejected Unitarianism), but the reality is that every practice of religion involves some picking and choosing, unless you just blindly do everything that a religious leader tells you to do, and that means you are living in a cult. (And that religious leader is just picking and choosing as well. Even fundamentalists are just choosing to emphasize the most austere, self-abnegating and traditional-seeming aspects of their religion, while ignoring the more forgiving and compassionate aspects.)

I’ve written about this before, but I have a tiny fragment on my corkboard from a book by V. S. Naipaul (a non-religious Hindu), in which he describes, somewhat dismissively, the Christian concept of grace: unmerited love and favour bestowed upon an undeserving person.

Unmerited love and favor is bestowed upon us, undeserving?

It seems very improbable.

Posted by eric at 05:37 PM | Comments (35)

October 17, 2007

the wolf shall dwell with the lamb

Dr. Bruce Kerner, NYC therapist, landlord, toy-dog enthusiast, entrepreneurial fee charger and passionate lover of U.S. currency, I forgive you!

Abide in peace, and pray for me, a sinner. I want you to keep our deposit. Think of it as a gift from God, from whom all blessings flow!

I am praying for you, Dr. Bruce Kerner, therapist and toy-dog aficionado.

O God, the Father of all, whose Son commanded us to love our enemies: Lead them and us from prejudice to truth: deliver them and us from hatred, cruelty, and revenge; and in your good time enable us all to stand reconciled before you, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Grant, O God, that your holy and life-giving Spirit may so move every human heart and especially the heart of Dr. Bruce Kerner, NYC therapist and toy-dog fancier, that barriers which divide us may crumble, suspicions disappear, and hatreds cease; that our divisions being healed, we may live in justice and peace; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Posted by eric at 07:22 AM

October 16, 2007

I will diminish, and go into the West.

"My age!", remember.

Lest you forget that I am a nerd who never gets laid.

Luckily, I am married to England.

I didn't pass no test, though.

Posted by eric at 11:47 PM | Comments (21)

succumbing to luxury 2

I saw this

and this.

.

I'm going travelling, too.

But only to a Kurort.

Enjoy this old reading. He was "my age"!

Also, the film shows a speech by Bush I about Gulf War I that was televised the night I met my first college boyfriend, who I was with for six years. We were always taking camping trips, although we never starved to death. Once we went back-country camping near San Jose and by the end of the three-day trip, we were so hungry we drove immediately to a Safeway and ate sandwiches from their deli right there at the store.

Not exactly into the wild.

Posted by eric at 10:33 AM | Comments (16)

October 12, 2007

succumbing to luxury

There are going to be some big changes around here.

Posted by eric at 02:27 PM | Comments (19)

October 10, 2007

If you've changed your mind I'm afraid it's too late

This blog is not derivative, it is integral.

OK, I'm kidding. This blog is totally derivative. But what isn't?

Also, one of the few words I remember from three years of college Japanese is 微分積分学, which means "calculus". Except I didn't learn it in college Japanese, I learned it from a Japanese-American friend in high school. I can't write that, though. I can't really write anything in Japanese, except for カルピス, which means Calpis, of course.

Also, I don't remember anything from calculus class. Not one thing.

Also, my mother took this photo on a recent trip to Greece:

I feel like it would be difficult to have non-dramatic exits from rooms or buildings in Greece.

Also, Iceland is cool:

That photo is of the Hallgrímskirkja, and I copied it straight from Wikipedia.

I copied it. I did not derive it.

I went to Iceland once.

I had a farm in Africa, at the foot of the Ngong Hills.

(I copied that.)

Did you know I lived in Denmark for five months in 1990? It was like a Bergman film, but without the comforting sound of the Swedish language. Or like Babettes gæstebud, but without the gourmet French food.

Posted by eric at 09:15 AM | Comments (26)

October 08, 2007

Der sogennante Fleischverpackungsbezirk

This is one of the best things in New York. I took this photo while walking around the Meatpacking District with Young Faruq. (I hate it when people call this area "MePa". It breaks my heart. It used to be a neighborhood overrun with whores, and now it is a neighborhood overrun with whores.)

Seriously. I love Florent. I went here on one of my first adult trips to New York, in the mid-1990's (although it is of course older than that) and was instantly smitten. (I realize it is quite unoriginal to be smitten with this place -- it's like saying that you love Paris or that you think Brad Pitt is attractive.) Tony thinks it is "just a diner", but that is because he is abnormally fancy and is willing to pay obscene prices for grapefruit juice.

How soon until it becomes "The Florent -- urban luxury with a French twist (provocative residences starting at $4 million)", I wonder?

Probably quite soon.

Oh well. That will make the lovely Maira Kalman very sad (I think/hope). She will have to take a walk to calm down.

As will I.

I will take a walk now, in preparation.

Posted by eric at 09:37 PM | Comments (27)

October 07, 2007

cooking bluefish is a new euphemism for something

This weekend I was hanging out with Tony in the West Village, and at one point he went into a deli near his apartment and bought a half gallon of Tropicana Pure Premium® Ruby Red Grapefruit juice for $6.49.

...

From Business 2.0 magazine:

Mary Frances Burleson, CEO of Ebby Halliday Realtors, Dallas's largest brokerage, advises buying into gated subdivisions. But she would also target older properties in more urban areas like Lakewood, a neighborhood east of downtown Dallas, as well as the nearby suburb of Richardson. "If I'd won the lottery last Friday, I'd be buying houses on 150- by 100-foot treed lots for $200,000 to $250,000," Burleson says. "Then I'd tear down the houses and build 3,500-square-foot luxury homes with swimming pools. They'd triple in value."

I'm glad she didn't win the lottery, that's for sure.
...

When is the revolution coming again?

Posted by eric at 11:59 PM | Comments (18)

October 05, 2007

for unknown reasons

Why had I not known about this?

I can't believe it. I miss out on so much.

There are indeed limits to deluxe. Although many would have you believe otherwise.

I think I need an extended stay at a Kurort, by the way. Extremis malis extrema remedia.

Posted by eric at 10:35 AM | Comments (19)

October 04, 2007

the lust to make the world intolerable 2

Another sad thing about America: boring car colors.

No surprises there.

Tony forwarded me a comment submitted to his blog, which he did not post. It was in response to the comment I left about the new taxi logo design.

The comment was this:

Eric, you can't be serious commenting that things are so ugly in America. "Constant agony"??? You're a pretentious, sheltered fag that no one wants to sleep with, is what I'm getting.

In the first place, no one who has ever met me would doubt that I am in constant agony.

Secondly, yes, I am pretentious.

Thirdly, I have no idea if anyone wants to sleep with me, since I don’t participate in that particular activity or pastime or hobby or pastime.

(Really, I don’t get what all the fuss is about with the whole sex thing.)

Fourthly, SHELTERED? From bad design? I was born in and have lived my entire life in the United States of America. How could I possibly be sheltered? Maybe if I was Swedish or Austrian or Brazilian or Spanish, but I am American! I am constantly exposed to horrible design on a daily basis! Or on any basis!

Americans often make the argument that there are more important things than good design or than making things aesthetically pleasing. This is usually based on the mistaken belief that good design costs more money than bad design, but, I agree: there are more important things than good design.

There are also more important things than:

Sex
Dessert
Drinking alcohol
Attending parties
Going to the gym
The internet
Traveling
Reading books
Watching movies
Listening to music
Having children
Having a job
Eating a variety of foods
Drinking beverages other than water
Earning wages above subsistence level
Sleeping in anything other than the most basic lean-to or cave
Exposure to sunlight
Having legs

As Alec Baldwin’s character on “30 Rock” responded when asked why he was wearing a tuxedo, “It’s after 6:00, what am I, a farmer?”

But in the United States we have low standards and lower expectations.

Posted by eric at 11:36 AM | Comments (18)

Pero la vida es una comedia

Posted by eric at 09:26 AM | Comments (1)

October 02, 2007

Atlantique? Fantastique! 3

Posted by eric at 10:08 PM | Comments (14)

autoerotic enunciation

A guy in my Spanish class claims that he learned how to speak Spanish simply by watching this movie over and over and over again.

He's pretty much fluent now.

When I watched this movie, first I was a little interested, then I was a bit more interested, then I was even more interested, then I was VERY interested, and then I wasn't interested at all.

Posted by eric at 12:22 PM | Comments (11)